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I am a believer that everything happens for a reason. Even the trials we are given. I have been reluctant to share this information for months.
For some reason I don’t want to be seen as weak, or in need, or that people should
treat me differently because I’m sick. But you know what- I am weak, I am in need, and I am sick.
Since August, my life has been one trial after another with
my health. After seeing doctor after doctor,
test after test, and diagnosis after diagnosis, I am happy to report we finally have answers!
The excruciating pain in my neck began last fall during the
first week at my new job (of course). It began on a Friday afternoon on a 3
day weekend and so I couldn’t see my doctor until Tuesday. That was a very long and painful weekend.
On Tuesday I met with my doctor. After I told him my
symptoms he grabbed 3 of his other colleagues to come see me as well. They all
four stepped out in the hall to discuss what they thought it could be.
Note: I thought I had just sprained a muscle in my neck. What came next was a complete shock.
My doctor came back and told me they all thought it was a
tumor. WHAT?!??!!!
He told me to give it until the end of the week and call
back if the pain got any worse. Apparently if it is a tumor the pain
increasingly gets worse. I gave it a week. Still in pain, but no worse than
before.
I met with my doctor again and he decided it wasn’t a
tumor because my pain wasn’t getting any worse. In the meantime I am still in
tremendous pain, not to mention scared. It felt like my esophagus/trachea was being cut
off, making it extremely hard to breathe, swallow, talk, eat, etc.
My doctor then thought that I had a rare type of acid reflux
disease. After loads of medications later, nothing helped.
I then went to a radiologist to get a CT scan of my neck to
see if they could find anything in the scan that would explain the pain I was in.
They didn't find anything. All they found was a 9mm cyst on my
right thyroid. Apparently it was nothing unusual, 1 out of every 5 women have
cysts on their thyroid.
They still didn't know what was causing the pain and said the cyst had nothing to do with it. The cyst was just another problem they thought was unrelated. They still wanted to monitor it though, so we made an appointment for an ultrasound on my neck for 2 months later.
I then met with an ENT doctor. He thought it was
reflux as well. He did tests and gave me a long list of lifestyle changes to
make to help reduce/eliminate any reflux. The lifestyle changes were nothing major—but they did require some discipline.
Fast-forward to five months after the symptoms started. Nothing
has changed and still in chronic pain. Doctors still think its reflux and I am
getting more tired and exhausted every day.
My 2 month appointment came up to have an ultrasound to check the cyst on my thyroid. I went to the imaging center and a nice
nurse came and put the cold gel along with the scanner thing and took
lots of pictures of my neck.
The cyst was still there. But that is all the information I
left with that visit.
I got a call a couple days later. That 9mm cyst was no
longer 9mm- it grew to be over 2 inches in less than two months. They told me
that I needed to have a biopsy right away. I immediately made an appointment
with an endocrinologist to do the biopsy.
The biopsy day came, it was on a Thursday. I went to my
appointment knowing everything was going to be just fine. David was much more
nervous that I was. I was just ready to get it over with.
The doctor came and got me. She was from New York City with
a strong New York accent. She had me lay down on a bed and turned on
the ultrasound machine to check out what was going on. It was no longer a cyst (a liquid filled sack), it
was a tumor (a solid mass).
Note: Red flags are flying up everywhere!! Cue panic attack.
The biopsy was very painful. They took 4 needles and put it
in the tumor to get samples of it.
During the appointment my doctor kept looking very
concerned. I could tell something wasn’t right.
After the biopsy, she sat David and I down and talked
to us about cancer and the steps that would happen next. The words never left her mouth, but I was
100% certain when I left that I had cancer.
I cried. A lot. The results were supposed to come back on
Monday, but I already knew. I only told my immediate family and a couple
friends. The hardest part of everything was talking to my mom and telling her
the news.
I talked with David’s uncle who had thyroid cancer only a few years ago. He gave me some advice that really helped me get through everything. He told me to just enjoy the journey because there was
a lesson I needed to learn. That part
stuck with me.
Even though I had already accepted and was prepared for the
worst, I still hadn’t received the official diagnosis yet. They told me it
would come on Monday—but then Tuesday and Wednesday rolled around. I was
getting frustrated. This was not news that they could just hold on to!
I got the call Thursday night. It was benign. BENIGN!!!!!!! As
my sister Sarah said, “benign is my new favorite word”!
That night was a night of celebration. Anyone who knows my
husband knows that he is a very calm guy. However, he was not calm Thursday night. He was literally jumping and dancing around the
apartment the entire night. I’ve never seen him that excited in the 5 years I’ve
known him. :)
Even with the extremely good news that I didn't have cancer,
it still didn’t get rid of the fact that I was still in pain and had a huge
tumor in my neck. I still had to have surgery to get it removed.
I made an appointment with my ENT doctor as a type of “consultation”
for my surgery. I went in thinking the surgery was going to be extremely simple
and that I would have a very minimal scar as opposed to if I had to have my thyroid removed.
Once again, I got news which I wasn’t expecting. I originally
thought the tumor was growing on my thyroid and that they would just have to
make a little incision to cut the tumor off, leaving my thyroid alone. What I
learned is that the tumor was growing inside my thyroid and I had to have my thyroid
removed because of this. This was now a serious and very major surgery.
I accidently gave David the wrong address to where my
appointment was, so he didn’t show up at that appointment until I was just walking out. I met with a
person to schedule the surgery and then went out to my car and cried. I’m not naturally
a very emotional person but I couldn’t help it.
It is all official now and the date has been set. Even
though I am scared, I am just so happy to know that in less than a month I will
be in recovery.
So, what happens now?
Well, my surgery is scheduled for March 14th. I
will be in the hospital for 2 days after the surgery to make sure my levels are
stable and then be at home in recovery for 10 days after. I will be put on
thyroid medication for the rest of my life. This medication is tricky. Your
thyroid controls just about everything in your body and is just a “test and
fail” type of system until they find the right dosage to where I will feel like
myself again. This could be anywhere from 3 months to years. Finding the
right dosage of medication is supposed to be the hardest of the whole recovery.
I’m just praying it happens quickly.
I will also be left with a 4 inch scar that will be smack
dab in the middle of my neck. Not the most beautiful of scars-- but that was really the last thing on my mind.
Through this whole process I have just felt extremely
blessed and loved. Things could have been so much worse than what they are and
I am just so happy that we found the problem. Everything happens for a reason. I don't know
why I have to go through this—but I do know I will come out a stronger and
better because of it.
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Since this surgery was going to leave a huge scar on my neck, David took some head shots of me on my 24th birthday. I think they turned out great :)
I am so grateful it didn't turn out to be cancer. You are such an amazing person and so strong to go through this all.
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